Sparkle
by One Hell of A Fanfic Writer
Summary: In which Ciel and Sebastian watch a movie...fun is not had by all. Modern AU, demon!Ciel. Crack-y oneshot. SebaCiel if you want it to be. Gen if you don't.


**Disclaimer: We don't own this because we can't draw a stick figure in a circle between the both of us. Believe me. It's bad. **

**Sparkle**

"So, is this a good movie?" Ciel asked, watching him curiously. Sebastian glanced up from the floor, taking in his young master; he was sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket, only his face visible. He'd be adorable, Sebastian mused, if only his mouth wasn't moving.

"The sales woman said it was one of the best she'd ever seen," he said, putting the disc into the DVD player. Ciel frowned, eying the box on the table with suspicion.

"This isn't a romance, is it?"

"No."

"It looks like a romance to me."

"It's not," Sebastian said through clenched teeth, sitting down next to the small boy and beginning to click through the commercials. '_I want to watch a movie', he said. 'It'll be fun', he said._ Not bloody likely.

Ciel's frown deepened and he burrowed further into the blanket, blue eyes now fixed on the television screen. "Looks like it," he muttered. Sebastian forced a smile that looked like he was in agony.

_I'm going to kill him._

-O-

"If she's happy, why isn't she smiling? Can't she act? Is there something wrong with her face? Why is she talking like that? Is she lying to make them happy? Why is she such a bad liar? Why haven't the others noticed yet? Why-"

"If you ask one more question, I'm turning the movie off," Sebastian snapped, taking his eyes off of the admittedly expressionless girl on the screen to glare at Ciel. Ciel frowned again.

"But-"

"Not. One. More."

-O-

"I thought you said this wasn't a romance."

Sebastian paused the movie to turn the full force of his death glare on Ciel, who stared back, now only a pair of blue eyes lost in the sea of fluffy fabric surrounding him.

"That wasn't a question, that was a statement," he said primly. Sebastian glared a bit harder. Ciel collapsed like a house of cards.

"Well, there are all these so-called 'beautiful kids' and that idiot girl is just kind of staring at them and it looks like a romance and you said it wasn't so there!"

-O-

"Ha! Serves her right! Run away pretty boy, she's going to suck the emotions out of you!"

Sebastian groaned into his hands, watching the madly cackling boy through the cracks in his fingers. He was becoming way too into this film, the pile of blankets vibrating under the intensity of his laughter.

-O-

"What the hell? He _pushed_ the van away from her? How is that even possible?" Ciel tumbled out of the blanket in an undignified manner as he grappled for the remote control, pausing the movie and turning accusing eyes on Sebastian. "Is he a demon?" he asked suspiciously.

"No," said Sebastian shortly. Ciel frowned at the screen. His face was going to be frozen in that expression if he kept it up for long, Sebastian thought wearily.

"Then how could he push the van off of her?"

"Maybe if you watch you'll find out," Sebastian hinted. Ciel made no move to indicate that he had heard him.

"Do you think he's like Finny? Because that would explain-"

"_Just play the movie!_"

Ciel shot him an aggrieved look. "There's no need to yell," he said haughtily, hitting the play button.

Then, three seconds later, "Why didn't he just let her die if he hates her so much?"

Sebastian snarled.

-O-

"Oooh, they're _vampires,_" Ciel mocked, voice acidic. He was back under the blanket, glaring at the screen like it had personally offended him. "Who the hell is this guy? He just shows up and explains it all, does he? All 'cold ones this' and 'tribal elders that'. Ha!"

Sebastian could feel a migraine coming on...and demons didn't _get_ migraines.

"Just watch," he sighed. Ciel muttered something under his breath about what the writers of the script could do with their plot.

-O-

"Oh, what the hell is this? Yes, you stupid girl, let's wander away from the group, I'm sure you'll be perfectly safe...what is wrong with you?!"

Ciel was now standing up, as if this could make him yell loud enough to be heard by the characters in the film; Sebastian was contemplating just stopping the film, but this would invariably lead to sulking, and he didn't quite feel like risking it.

"Run goddamnit!" Ciel screamed, dancing in place. "Call the police! Knock on someone's door! Why are you just standing there? Why aren't-oh hey, isn't that the vampire? What's he doing here?"

Sebastian yanked Ciel back down.

"Shut up and for the last time _just watch_."

-O-

"Oh, so he's a mind reader now, is he? Didn't see _that-_"

Sebastian clamped his hand down a little tighter over Ciel's mouth, ignoring his muffled protests. After all, it wasn't like he _needed_ to breathe.

-O-

"Eat her! EAT HER! Why are they just standing around staring at her? Why aren't they drinking her blood? I want them to kill her!"

Ciel was beginning to actually frighten Sebastian, face screwed up in indignation as he glared daggers at the assembled actors on screen.

"You know this isn't real, right?" he asked cautiously. Ciel didn't even look at him, probably still miffed about the earlier forcible silencing.

"Of course I bloody well know they're not real...oh, honestly, just kill her!"

-O-

"Ooooh, they're playing _baseball._ _That's_ realistic." Ciel crossed his arms grumpily. "And hey, there are _more_ vampires. Isn't that _awesome_?" Sebastian could actually hear the italics in the boy's words.

"And _now _look, the _wind_ ruffled her _hair_. Of _course_ that's not going to end badly." Sebastian cringed internally.

-O-

"Remind me why this girl is still alive? You don't go to meet the man who wants you dead in an abandoned studio when no one knows you're there! My god, how dumb can you get? Hasn't she ever seen a horror movie? Or have any common sense whatsoever?"

-O-

"SOMEONE JUST KILL HER!" screamed Ciel, once more jumping up and down on the couch in an agony of frustration. His eyes were flickering red in annoyance, a sure sign someone was going to die soon. Sebastian glanced up from banging his face repeatedly into a pillow to observe the small boy.

"Die! Die! DIE!"

_Why did I do this again? Why?_

-O-

"My god, she's right in front of you! If you want revenge, just go and kill her! She's too busy making out with that idiot to notice you! Why-"

Thankfully, the credits began rolling, cutting the petite earl off in mid-rant. Instead he sat down, glaring at the television screen before turning to Sebastian, who felt his heart sink.

"I thought you said this wasn't a romance?"

"I did say that."

"Then why were people kissing?!" Sebastian sighed softly.

"Apparently, I was wrong. That does happen occasionally." Ciel frowned at him, watching as he ejected the movie and put it back into its box, and started muttering again about romance and vampires and stupid plotlines.

Sebastian turned to him with a bright smile, which only the observant onlooker could tell was forced.

"Well then, since the movie wasn't to your liking, would you like to play chess instead?"

-O-

"Can I ask one more question?"

Sebastian paused in the act of moving his knight and regarded Ciel skeptically.

"Only if you promise to never mention this movie again," he said finally. Ciel nodded, cleared his throat, and then asked the single worst question Sebastian had ever heard in his life:

"They're vampires, yes? _So why the hell were they sparkling?!_"

**A/N: Hey, hey, hey! We wrote a thing! It's not a particularly complex thing, but it's a thing, and you will love it and review because it is a thing and things need love just like the rest of us…or you. I'm a horrible, horrible misanthrope that despises humanity. My sister is only slightly better and more mute so she cannot spill her hate like I can, which I do with gratuitous typing and mini-rants like this. But yeah, review review review! Even if you just want to say how horrible it is.**

**Also, no offense to those who love Twilight/Kristin Stewart. We mean no offense, and no, we don't own those either. **


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